Sex and the Office

Monday morning, June 30

Back to work after a week’s vacation. I can’t wait to tell my coworkers about how much fun SL is. I walk down the hall to get my coffee. W sticks his head out of his office and calls “Naked and alone on Orientation Island with my son!” Uh oh. B looks up. “Hey, good to see you’re dressed! “ The summer intern looks up at me with a somewhat stunned expression. Maybe I shouldn’t have emailed my manager M last week when I was trying to get SL underway. I should have realized that there are no secrets in our office. Apparently M announced at the lunch table that I had sent him an email stating that I was alone and naked on Orientation Island with my son. It’s true. I did. The fact that I really WASN’T naked is never going to have any credibility, I can see that now. Oh well, this is one of those times you simply grin and make the best of it. Since we are all good friends, that is easier than it could be in other circumstances.

I tell M and W that I have written a blog. They ask for the location. Well, maybe blog is the wrong word. How about “I’ve been keeping a diary”. They scoff. “THAT’S not a blog” they say. So tell me where I should put my diary so it IS a blog. I work with software developers, all male. Asking such a question is akin to asking women about best places for shopping (I apologize if that’s too sexist for anyone – I confess that I am somewhat stumped for a good analogy here). Everyone else around joins in and I hear a dozen possible blog spots. Stop, stop, STOP!!! PICK ONE! A consensus is reached. Now I have to turn my diary into a blog. Maybe I need a new blog – Ahuva’s adventures in Blogdom? With any luck, I’ll do better at plunging into a blog than I feel I’ve done plunging into SL. And that seems to be the case. It only takes me about 2 hours to turn my diary into this blog.

I try to reach SL from my desk. I want to show everyone how it looks (no one has done this yet but me). I want to tour our company’s land in SL. But I can’t get there. We are behind a firewall that prohibits access. We have some connections in our kitchen that are not behind the firewall. We have them for guests that may need to access other websites. At lunch I take my laptop to the kitchen to show everyone SL. I remember that I went to sleep at Fishermen’s Cove wearing a little slinky top. NOT proper office attire. Ahuva throws on a shirt before I call everyone over to meet her. After all the “that’s YOU??” remarks (hey, I told you Ahuva was hot), I teleport to the corporate visitor center. It’s just my manager and I now. We start up the tour. M is really paying attention. I’m pointing out how this is used for real business needs. But then he is called away for important business – the lunchtime card game. Hey – we have our priorities in this office. The men all play cards at lunch and the admin and I walk. So instead of walking, she and I check out Ahuva. Ahuva takes off the sweater to show her slinky top. I demonstrate how to change shoes, change hair. Uh oh. I did it again. I lost the hair I had and can’t get it back. But in my magic goody box there are 5 hair styles each in a wide range of colors. We pick one we like. As we are doing this, the men are wandering in and out of the kitchen, peering over our shoulders at Ahuva. Of course there are remarks about the slinky top, the shoes, the jeans. Most embarrassing of all is “The Encounter”.

I’d heard there was a lot of sex on SL. Let’s be real – there’s a lot of sex on the internet. Oh heck – there’s a lot of sex EVERYWHERE. Sex is fine, I have no problem with that. But I’d really prefer not to be involved in that in the office kitchen. There is a time and a season to every purpose, and sex in the office kitchen is not, in my opinion, a great idea. I’d been on SL for 5 days – Thursday through Monday. NO SEX. Nothing. All very innocent (well, mostly). So there I am, showing people how Ahuva moves, how to change clothes, her appearance and what happens? A woman walks up to Ahuva and IM’s her. She says “Sit on me and you can use me”. This is NOT the kind of invitation I typically receive. I look at the faces that are there and think “this may be worse than ‘naked and alone’”. I IM back “not interested, sorry” and close the IM box. The woman winks out and Ahuva is alone once more. I teleport back to my beach chair, stretch out, relax and shut down.

1 Response to “Sex and the Office”

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