No, I’m not going to talk about “no pain, no gain” or “mens sano corpore sano” or even “suffering builds character”. Today’s workout lesson came from my iPod. From Bonnie Raitt and “I Can’t Make You Love Me”, to be more precise.
I got angry and frustrated a few days ago. Someone did not do something I expected they would do and so I missed doing something I planned to do. NOT the end of the world. But frustrating. I will be taking action today to make up for what I planned to do and didn’t, so it has been on my mind. Then while I was rowing, this song came up. Let’s start by saying I love Bonnie Raitt’s voice, so even though it’s not really the kind of song that makes you row harder and faster, it does help the mind drift away from the rowing repetition.
I’ve talked about psychology before. People do what they do because, for the most part, life IS all about THEM. We are, in our minds, the center of the action. Very few of us set out deliberately to hurt, harm or impede others. Yet often that is the result of what we do or don’t do. The key for the “others” is to realize – it wasn’t about you. While that is reassuring on one level, it is still hurtful on another. We all have emotions and we’d all like to think that others care for us above and beyond all else. That is unreasonable.
Mornin will come and I’ll do what’s right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
My fight, and I fight it daily, is to remember that I am responsible for my actions and my behavior. It is unreasonable of me to EXPECT certain behavior from others. You accept people for who and what they are. Let it go. Move on. Love them. And hope that you are not stepping on someone else’s toes as you move through the center of your universe.
By the way, Bonnie also sings: You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t. I happen to disagree with that to some extent. A very wise man told me: smile as if you mean it, and soon you will find that you do. He was right.