OOTD 20150308

emotion and logic
.
Sometimes those two can overlap, sometimes they are not even on the same screen. I am watching my mother suffer from medical issues that we cannot seem to alleviate. We have a theory of the cause and the progression. The solution appears beyond our grasp. I received some unexpected health information this past week. The timing was particularly poor. I expected to hear Result A. What I was told was Result B. Result B is what we believe to be the initial impetus for my mother’s condition. I was fatigued and still heavily medicated when I heard the result. Emotion rose up and throttled logic.

I know that just because I have B I may not end up like my mother. Millions of people have Result B and do not have my mother’s other issue. I know that my mother is older than I by several decades. Forewarned is forearmed and a lot can change in 30 years. I know all that. I know my doctors think that Result B is actually MUCH better than Result A because they think they can do something about B.

But.

It is not their parent lying in that bed, suffering. It is not, perhaps, their deepest fear to be trapped in a body that will not work as desired. There are compromises and there is flexibility and there is bowing to the inevitable and there is accepting life’s challenges with grace. I do understand all of that. You needn’t tell me. I KNOW. This is not about knowing. This is about feeling.
meeting of minds
.
.
..

Sometimes Emotion and Logic align. I WILL ensure that I have the right to end my life with dignity when the time comes. That is my line in the sand. I’m not quitting. I’m going to continue to enjoy life and live it. I will catch the sun and sing it. But I will ensure that however, wherever, whenever the time comes – I will go gently into that good night.

Published by

ahuva18

There's not much to say about me. I discovered SecondLife by accident, wandered in, and decided I wanted to stay. This blog was a chronicle of my adventures and misadventures in SL. It also includes stray thoughts that occur to me as a result of my time in SL. Both I and my avatar are female. We both love water and the beach and gardening and parties and hanging out with friends. Updating this after quite some time. I haven't appeared in SL in many many months (probably over a year by now) but SL has remained in my thoughts. I do miss my SL, but at least I still have contact with some of my friends from there. In the meantime.... this blog has evolved to be about my RL adventures. :) Nowhere near as risque as my SL but I do keep busy. I still like all the things listed above. I didn't have any cats in SL (only ducks and a panda) so my cats feel that they should play starring roles in my posts. :) I didn't do much eating IN SL although certainly food and drink accompanied me in RL while I roamed inworld. Cooking and baking have become more fun and interesting once I redid my kitchen. That renovation took longer and cost more than if I'd done it virtually, but I'm thrilled to have a tangible new kitchen! I hope you like food and drink as well! Thanks for reading!

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