Garden Retreat

2019 rhododendronfront porchIt’s raining (again). The news headlines are abysmal (again). I need to do laundry (again). When life gets annoying, the annoyed retreat to their gardens. *grin* Or at least that is where I go. My garden is my happy place. One of my two happy places, the other being the shore (what you might call the beach, but where I live we go down the shore). Since I can’t go out and dig in the dirt directly today, I’ll retreat to my photos.

I’m trying 3 new things this year in the battle against the deer and groundhogs. First, I bought 3 cloches to put over my containers. I have many more pots than cloches but I’m using them on the lettuce (which has already been attacked once by deer before I had the cloche) and the hibiscus. I believe the hibiscus will get too big fairly soon for the cloche, but while I can still tuck it in, I’m using a cloche there.

cloche closeupMy other 2 new defenses are marigolds and mint. I’ve always used hot pepper on my plants to deter animals. They don’t like the burning and we don’t mind. 🙂 I don’t want to use chemicals on our herbs and lettuce. I do wash the plants before using but I’d prefer to avoid the poisons. This year I bought an entire flat of marigolds and have placed them in every pot with herbs and lettuce. We’ll see if they help. I’m told deer hate the smell. I don’t think they’ll stop the groundhogs, however. I’ve also bought a lot of mint and I’m adding that to the flowers. I’m toying with the idea of taking my long rectangular planters and filling them with mint and placing them in a row next to the planters. Again the popular reasoning is that deer don’t like the smell of mint. We’ll see. 🙂

IrisesI couldn’t remember when the irises bloom. While I was doing some cleanup and planting a few weeks ago I began to fear that I’d either missed them or I had none this year. I’m delighted to see that both fears were misplaced and my irises are back. As is the peony. I really thought I planted an orange peony way back when. I don’t know if that is wishful memory or if I really did and it was a hybrid that has naturalized back to yellow (see below). It’s beautiful no matter what. guaraThat corner still needs a little more work. I’ll be planting either cosmos or zinnia seeds (or both) there this weekend.

I plant guara (the little pink flowers in front of the evergreen bushes) every year. They are supposed to be perennials. They almost never come back for me. I am also completely inept at growing echinacea. Everyone tells me that coneflowers are soooooo easy to grow. Yet either they die on me or I’ve been ‘weeding’ them out by mistake. I had THREE plants going last year and I can only find the remains of one this year.

front walk 2I use a lot of container pots because the sun is in the front of my house. So are the deer. 🙂 I only have so much yard and the pots give me a lot of flexibility. The ones closest to the house are filled with herbs and lettuce, with the flowers further out for public viewing. I got smart and broke apart one of my huge succulent plantings. Although I loved the pot, it is WAY too heavy to bring into the house during winter. I took the succulents that were still alive and moved them to smaller pots, plus I bought some new plants for a third pot. The big red heavy planter now has flowers.

The pots with the green shoots have canna lilies. One pot did fine but the other one only scored 1 out of 3. I’ll need to find something for that. You can see that I’ve allowed many of the herbs to go to flower. I think that is a “no-no” but I don’t really care. In most respects I am very relaxed about my garden – it works or it doesn’t work. If it doesn’t work, I toss it and try something else. false starwortIn the plot between the sidewalk and the street I had 4 False Starwort plants. Only 2 came up. So I dug up what was left of the other 2 and planted a mandevilla. 🙂 I have high hopes for both the lupine (perennial) and the gazania (annual).

The rhododendron thrills me every year (top picture). I need to find someone who could get up on a ladder and trim the top a bit. I’m delighted with how the plant blocks my living room windows (but lets in air and light) but I don’t think I need it growing up to the 2nd floor. 🙂 I also need to cut it back from a width perspective. But oh my, isn’t it gorgeous? We planted that the first year we were in the house. My sister and I put it in, along with 2 white azaleas. The azaleas are still there, but they struggle for space against the rhododendron.

clematis and aliumWe also planted a clematis to wind up the porch support that very first year as well (my sister was my guide and teacher when I first moved in to the house). Over the many years that original clematis migrated to the side of the porch (after the sewer line was dug up and all the plants had to be moved and replanted). I’ve added a few more plants of different varieties to try to regain what used to be a stupendous abundance of purple flowers shading the entire corner of the porch. Slowly but surely we are getting there.

The rain has stopped. Maybe we’ll even get sun!
plants in pots
succulents and tarragon
peony

Reassembling Your Cat

We all know that cats are very good at relaxing. Sometimes, however, your cat may relax so much that it appears boneless and it may have trouble getting itself back to a more standard appearance. At such times, you may need to offer a little assistance.

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When your cat has relaxed too far, you need to push all of the stray parts together gently, combing them in a pile until they begin to cohere. This may take ahwile as the individual hairs can be quite resistant to rejoining the gestalt. Be patient, gentle and persevere. It MAY take hours.
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Congratulations! You have reassembled your cat!! BUT you are not done yet. You must assure that the reassembled cat is in proper alignment. Adjust the cat until it is at the proper angle. Remember to be gentle and patient as you do not want the newly reassembled cat to fragment.
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Once the cat has been aligned properly, allow it to rest undisturbed. This allows the recombination to strengthen and increases the likelihood that the cat will maintain its standard appearance. If you have any stray pieces left over after you have reassembled the cat, you may remove them once the cat has left the work area of its own volition. A newly recombined cat may decide to discard some hairs or whiskers as it settles into its new condition.

My First Client

It’s official. Okay, it’s almost official. I haven’t yet finished the coaching course – I have to finish the book and pass the test. I’ve done all of the other requirements. But those 2 requirements are dependent solely on me – I don’t need anyone else to get them done. Today I finished the last requirement that needed other people participating. The course had 10 online group sessions. We’ve a large group – nearly 40 people meeting online (we’ve lost a few since the first class). As I mentioned in an earlier post, we get sent into breakout rooms – 3 or 4 of us together. Someone must coach, someone must be the coachee, and the other observes. I’ve been an observer for the first 8 sessions. I WAS about to volunteer to coach once, but I got elbowed aside quite strongly (virtually, mind you) by someone else who felt he absolutely needed to coach. *grin*

Last session I was the coachee. I’ve been fairly snarky about being a coachee. My feeling was that there was nothing one of my classmates could do for me that I couldn’t do already with my “Howard-in-my-head“. After all, I KNEW what the problem was, I KNEW I had to find a non-confrontational way to discuss it with the person in question, I KNEW that what was holding me up was what words I would use to speak to her directly. It was obviously just a matter of me thinking about the wording, trying out sentences and seeing which felt ‘right’. But I had to be a coachee and B had to be a coach. I even started my session with him being snarky (at least I felt it was condescending and snarky, I’m not sure if B felt that way) – explaining that I *KNEW* what had to be done. B did not let that bother him. He had me state my issue and what I wanted to accomplish today: I have a coworker who speaks very very very softly on all of our team calls, and I can’t hear her, and I get frustrated and embarrassed having to ask her to repeat everything, and even then I don’t always hear her. I’ve asked coworkers to move the microphone near her, I’ve instant messaged them to find out what she said, suggested to our manager that he have EVERYONE use the video and not just audio (maybe I’d be better at reading lips). *laughing* Even TYPING this the frustration returns.

Well, we only get about 15 minutes for these triad coaching sessions. We were almost to the end when B asked me what ended up being the pivotal question: What can you do NOW to address this? I started to answer him by saying “nothing, I can’t do anything until I see her in person”. And WHAM!!! It hit me. Right in mid-sentence. I did NOT have to wait to see her in person. I could EMAIL her!! Or I could IM her right before the next meeting (due later that day). This did NOT have to be done in person. You’re reading this and saying – well, could it be any more obvious???? The answer is no, it really isn’t obvious when it is YOUR issue. One thing that I have learned for sure from this coaching course is how grateful we all are for the space of time where we can think, reflect, take time. We spend a lot of effort getting things done and not as much time exploring all the aspects. I’ve learned that when I coach, the thing my coachees seem to appreciate most is the space to think and then speak.

Sharing a situation, describing a problem to another, always seems to let more light on something even when we’ve been sure there are no shadows left. Certainly I’ve experienced it over and over when I was still writing code. I’d hit a bug, be stuck. I’d start to talk to my coworker explaining the issue and as I articulated the details to her, I could see the problem clear as day. Or maybe you’ve had a conversation with a friend where you were talking about some problem or complaint, and the friend mentions some simple solution that you had never even considered. It’s the old you can’t see the forest for the trees – if you are too close, you can’t see the whole.

I was THRILLED with my coaching session with B. I will tell you that I utilized the solution that *I* came up with just this week. I sent an email shortly before the team call to the other 2 women on the call, explaining that I had a hard time hearing, and women’s voices were the most difficult for me, and could they please make sure that the microphones were well distributed around the table and could they please be sure to sit near one. OMG. They wrote back, said they would, they did, and I heard everything. I didn’t feel uncomfortable or demanding or as if I was insulting the person I can’t hear, because by doing it in a common email, I felt I diffused any sort of implication of personal attack. It was great.

Today was FINALLY my turn to be a coach in the triad. *Laughing* It’s very hard to be the coachee at times, and come up with a problem you want to discuss with someone listening, and also knowing you have only 10 minutes to talk. I’ve found, therefore, that I need to give the coachee sufficient time to tell enough of the story so I could hear what was the core of the issue. Then there is the whole aspect of trust and embarrassment – will the person listening judge me or betray me? I felt I was handling the conversation well, although there were several sentences I wanted to rephrase (and did) as soon as I said them. I felt I did manage to keep quiet and give her space to respond, and that I asked open questions that would make her think. I tried to follow the model we were given. I wasn’t sure we were going to come up with an action plan, but just as we got the 1 minute warning to return to the group, she came up with a solution she felt she could implement right away.

We returned to the group and our facilitator was asking for feedback. One of the best parts of blogging is that I can “brag”. My blog, my words, no one makes you read it. *grin* In many other aspects of my life I do try to avoid singing my own praises. (And honestly, there ARE so many things to praise when you are as wonderful as I am. *grin*) But here’s what the rest of my triad had to say in the open group chat:

From ‘Observer’ to Everyone:
It was good experience as an observer. Our Coach was so calm and asking very good question.
From Coachee to Everyone:
Ahuva was my coach, and made me feel very comfortable. Thank you so much Ahuva!
From Observer to Everyone:
I totally agree. She was excellent.

*blush* But oh yeah, you know I am feeling good about that. The facilitator read it and called it out, too. Even more exciting – my coachee IM’d me to tell me she had already acted on her solution and thanked me again. 
I praised her and told her she was very welcome, and offered to continue coaching with her if she wished (an offer I did make to my 2 test coachees as well). She was immediately enthusiastic and said she would love to have me coach her and she sent a meeting invitation for us to continue.

So I may not have my course badge yet, but I have a coachee. 🙂

Yet More Headlines – and a TWEET

It’s been awhile since I last shared with you the headlines that cause me to stop in my virtual tracks, shake my head, and wonder why people do what they do. Here they are, in reverse chronological order. I keep a running list, and I put the most recent at the top. Sometimes I go back and look at them to judge if they have aged sufficiently for posting. But the first one in the list made me realize this morning that, seriously, we need to have a chat.

People are putting tampon-shaped speakers in their vaginas so their unborn babies can hear music
I can’t even begin to write what I want to say about this. There are SO MANY things wrong with this from MY perspective. Let me say only that Beethoven’s mother did NOT shove a speaker up her vagina and Beethoven (and Bach, Mozart, Brahms, Hayden, et alia) seemed to learn and appreciate music without any difficulty.

A company called Music In Baby says its Babypod device, which it sells for $150, is designed to help unborn babies “perceive sounds like we do” since it’s placed in the vagina, where tissue and material from the womb normally prevent fetuses from hearing sounds as humans do.
It’s true that babies hear sound differently from inside the womb, but research has not found that unborn babies benefit from hearing sounds, like music, the way we do.

A woman’s infection turned out to be bees living in her eye, feeding on her tears
This is pure science fiction horror, except it’s real. I can’t even think how to describe my feelings about this one, except to say every time I see the words I shudder.

…such bees nest near graves and in fallen trees, so chances of coming across them while hiking in the mountains are high,
Assuming that sand or dirt had gotten into her eye, she said that she cleaned her eye with water at the time.
During the press conference, Dr Hung said: “I saw something that looked like insect legs, so I pulled them out under a microscope slowly, and one at a time without damaging their bodies.”
sweat bees are attracted to perspiration and have a tendency to land on humans to obtain moisture and salts from their sweat,

Naked protesters showed up to Parliament and glued their bums to security glass
I have a friend and former coworker who posts this kind of headline all the time – of antics in Florida that are “only in Florida”. I think this article qualifies for that collection.

The week is young, and there have already been bare-assed protesters in the U.K.’s House of Commons.
To be sure, the 12 protesters that showed up for a Brexit debate Monday night had nothing to do with debates surrounding alternative proposals to leave the EU. They came, instead, to highlight climate change.
Monday wasn’t much better, with MPs attempting to debate a deal while the protesters glued their buttocks to the security glass walling of gallery visitors from politicians. They were removed about 30 minutes after they arrived. In some circumstances, security officers had to use soap and water to remove the glue. One MP seemed relatively pleased with the ordeal.
“Parliament just got a little more nuts,” Tory MP James Heappey wrote on Twitter Monday.
All 12 protesters were arrested for “outraging public decency,” according to the Mirror.

Why you should never release your pet goldfish into the wild

Goldfish are invading lakes and streams worldwide, and it’s all our fault.
For starters, goldfish are smarter than you might think. They have a memory span of at least 3 months which means you can teach them tricks like this. They also can tell the difference between Stravinsky and Bach.

Please note that the goldfish can appreciate the music without having speakers in their mothers’ vaginas.

And for some of these headlines – you need to click through on your own.  🙂

A woman was shot at close range, but it was her underwire bra that nearly killed her
I lied – I have to share these sentences from the article with you: The surgeon thought it might be “some kind of detonation device” and summoned a nearby police officer, Duggan said. “We’re always thinking in medicine of worst-case scenarios,” she added. … “There’s no question in anybody’s minds … that [wearing an underwire bra] was what just exponentially increased her injury pattern,” Duggan said.

Tooth pulled from inside man’s nose after losing sense of smell
You’ll have to click through to see if it was the man or the tooth that lost sense of smell. *grin*

 Singing mice could offer clues about how human brains manage conversation
High in the cloud forests of Costa Rica, there’s a species of mouse that sings call-and-response duets, similar to the high-speed back and forth humans engage in with conversation.

 I leave you with this final observation:

The bushtucker trial meal of sauteed testicle from a bull called Boris was tastier than Theresa had expected…