More than 30 years ago my husband and I went before the town planning board to get permission to put an extension on our house and build an attached deck. The addition was in place of the tiny back porch and little pantry, and part of where the driveway widened for the 2-car garage. The deck was approximately 32 ft by 15.5 feet and replaced most of our backyard. To get the necessary permits, you have to send notices to all the neighbors, and go before either the zoning board or planning board for permission and any variances. Even if our deck were to be smaller, we’d have needed variances because our old house was built before the ordinances were created and we had existing variances. (I don’t know why that should make us have to go if the new work wouldn’t be in variance, but it does.) I believe there were 5 people on the board, one of them, Ann, a mother of a classmate of mine. During the days leading up to our hearing, I saw various strangers stroll down my driveway and into my backyard – board members checking out the property. We got to the hearing and Ann reproved us, asking “WHY do you NEED such a LARGE deck?” Before we could even start to reply to this unexpected question, another board member spoke up. “Did you SEE their property, Ann? (aside: no – she never came to look.) It’s shady, it slopes, no grass because of the shade. The deck will be a huge improvement.” Well, yes, he was right. Not only would the deck give us a usable attractive backyard, it would function as a large entertainment room as well. Needless to say, our application was approved, the addition added, and we got our deck (which my structural engineer husband designed to withstand nuclear attack and about which the builders complained bitterly).
There have been various pictures on this blog that show the deck – in snow, in summer, in fall with the red tail hawk feasting on the squirrel. Over the years the furnishings on the deck have changed from sandboxes and plastic slides and play houses and shade from the cherry tree branches to market umbrellas and wood furnishings to umbrellas and led-lit palm trees and propane-tank fire pits with big comfy chairs. The hot tub has been a constant in the one corner, although it is now the 3rd tub.
My niece and her husband and
their our one-year old summer solstice baby came to visit July 4th weekend. It was supposed to be in the 90s and humid all day. How to keep everyone happy and safe? The deck has one oscillating fan and 3 umbrellas. Thinking of little soft feet that had only just learned to walk on their own a few short weeks earlier, I went out and bought a large outdoor ‘carpet’ for the deck. I put up a square 10’x10′ pop-up awning. I brought 3 more fans out from the house and aimed them at the play area under the awning. I bought LOTS of toys for ‘my’ baby. I NEEDED a pool. There were no small kiddie pools to be had in time for love or money. What to do???? /me sings “ShopRite has the answer!” There it was – right as you walk into the store. Pool toys. Including an inflatable raft with sides. The PERFECT size and shape for a pool!!!! All for the exorbitant price of $8. As you can see in the pictures, we had plenty of shade, the fans gave us a breeze, and some of us enjoyed the water. 🙂 Yes, it WAS humid but the fans do help somewhat. It was good, but I knew I could do better.
This past weekend we had friends coming for dinner on the deck. It would be the 6 of us, and it was again going to be in the high 90s and humid. 4 of us belonged to one ‘pod’ but the other 2 are just in the process of venturing out to be socially distanced, maskless, from non-pod people. Not only that, but I knew I had to do better about the heat and humidity. I upped the number of fans to 5, including buying 2 with larger diameter than the ones from the house that I’d used before. 🙂 4 oscillating fans and one stationary fan. The day before I set up the pop-up tent and surrounded it with 4 umbrellas. I also made sure we had LOTS of ice – 30 pounds of ice. Yes – 20 would have sufficed. 🙂 But you KNOW I would have needed more if I’d only had 20. We did quite well – social distance was maintained, there was a constant gentle breeze, and a good time (and great food) was had by all.
Now I’m on vacation. I know that I’m “supposed” to going down the shore multiple times this week. BUT. Well. This is embarrassing to write but honestly – I know I’m getting old. It’s actually too hot for me to want to pack up everything and shlepp to the beach early enough to avoid the worst of the traffic. I made a list of everything I’d like to get done in the way of chores, and there are a LOT of things to be done. Why chores on vacation? Because I don’t have time to get some of these things done when I’m working and they are constant irritants whenever I see them or think about them. The solution? Spa Ahuva!!!!!
Welcome to Spa Ahuva! It has ALL the amenities of the most luxurious spas. Easy to get to – no traffic. Secluded – exclusive membership. Shade. Comfortable chairs. Gentle breeze to keep guests cool and keep the bugs away. Hot tub, for those aching muscles. Rest facilities within an easy walk. And a POOL to cool off in should the need arise. Because I finally found a kiddie pool online that I could still get delivered. Although, Spa Ahuva doesn’t REALLY have all the amenities I need. There is no wait staff to come around and take my food and drink order, and deliver the order chair-side. I’ll have to work on that.
So Ann P – THIS is why we NEEDED such a LARGE deck. 🙂
2 thoughts on “THIS is why, Ann”
Hahahaha great post and love the title. I like the idea of a huge deck. That would be so much better than grass for people like me who are terrified of bugs and refuse to sit in the grass, even on a blanket, because there are creepy crawlies under and all around me. Plus its great that you can put little pools and things on it without them getting covered in grass and dirt. Brilliant!
I love the deck. I also love not being in the grass. I do have to say, however, that creepy crawlies do find their way onto the deck at times. But it’s much easier to deal with them there and there are way fewer for sure. It is like having another room in the house. We really were annoyed with Mrs. P when she said “Why do you need such a large deck?” Why do you CARE as long as it is within code???? Doesn’t matter – we got our deck. 🙂