Report From Retirement

I did it. I retired after 43 years as a systems analyst. It was a very, very scary decision. I’ve been working since I graduated high school. Summer jobs, temp jobs on term break, employed before I graduated officially with my Master’s degree (MBA). I suppose technically going to grad school for 18 months isn’t being employed, but it was certainly working.

I’d become extremely unhappy and frustrated at my job. There were still moments of great satisfaction and fulfillment, but more and more I was frustrated, angry and feeling very disrespected and unappreciated. Although I agreed with some of what leadership was proposing, the truth is that almost none of it was new. I’d been in that role for 11 years. What I’ve learned is that corporate life is cyclical. On a macro level you can see it with the centralize/decentralize cycle that occurs regularly. For my role this would have been the 3rd or 4th time I’d heard the same “wouldn’t it be great if we …”. I can only do that so long. Yeah, great idea. You’re not the first. Stop acting like you’ve solved world hunger. I’ll be 67 this summer. It was/is time to do something else.

Deciding to retire was, as I said, terrifying. I didn’t know what I’d be/do if I was not employed. Everyone (Hi, Honour!!!) told me that I’d be amazed at how much I would find to do. I was also terrified that I would not be able to pay my bills, to not indulge in any luxuries. I’ve gotten quite spoiled the last few years with both my husband and I working, no child to support, inheritance from my parents. Well we’re both unemployed now, the inheritance was spent rebuilding the house (omg, wait til I show you the result of the 2nd floor renovation!!!!), taxes are going up, the stock market is going down, and I still have tons of fixed expenses. My financial analyst keeps assuring me that we will be okay, but I was raised by a neurotic mother whose father died when she was 6, leaving the family quite poor. No matter how much my logical side tells me we’ll be okay, my inner 6-year old is screaming in fear. Repeatedly.

My last day was March 31. Although I had a goodbye dinner, a goodbye lunch, handed in my laptop, and handed in my badge, it didn’t “feel” like retirement. I immediately began preparation for Passover the following week. A week of Passover, then a week of 2 Bruce Springsteen concerts, dealing with car insurance because my car was hit at one of the concerts, paperwork to move my 401K, to pay the contractors the final payment and other legalities – still not feeling “retired”. This week (and it’s only Tuesday) feels like retirement. On a sunny Monday afternoon, I went out at 2pm and worked in the garden. 🙂 Now THAT is what I thought it meant to be retired. 🙂