The Marquis Ivercourt Speaks

We have a guest blogger today. This is a bit unusual, I must say. I’ve not had nobility – real or pseudo – post to my blog hitherto. It was my great pleasure and honor to become acquainted with the Marquis a few years ago. At that time he lived a much simpler life – had not yet acquired his dragon Ancalagon nor his title. But the years have obviously brought about a metamorphosis resulting in this current incarnation. With great….. amusement…., I present The Marquis Faust Ivercourt.

Greetings, my devoted supplicants! I, the Marquis Faust Ivercourt, have grown weary of my time governing my vast and profitable family lands, and have elected to venture forth on an adventure! Yes, that is right. I, the endless fountain of wonder that I am, have decided to grace this Hunt for Steam with my noble personage. I shall traverse to all the exotic fairs and markets, where I am told my vassals have left tribute for me to collect (as is their duty), with little more than my silk Levant Suit (made by BlackOpal Designs, the very best craftsmen in the Orient, as to be expected for any garment with which I deign worthy to garb myself, you know), my Adventuring Hat, my dragon Ancalagon, and my limitless wits. Also my impeccable style, but my excellence with regards to that needs not be mentioned. It simply is.

With that humble introduction completed, allow me to recount for future generations those adventures my noble person undertook before allowing his exceptionally interesting life to be chronicled by the grateful author of this magical book. [Editor’s intervention: I believe the Marquis refers to myself and my blog.] Though a book without pages is most impressive, to one well-traveled such as I, it is simply another amusing trinket. Nevertheless, one must always keep the masses content and distracted. So without further ado, my loyal subjects, let me begin this exciting tale of a hunt. Tally-ho, gentlemen! Let the hunt begin! Adventure-ho!

…Ah. I see how it is. It seems I have fallen out of touch with my subjects in the matter of taste. This IS the first store, is it not, Ancalagon? Pop Tart and Urban Assault?

Ancalagon: GRAAAAWR!

Very eloquently put, old friend. For those of you not versed in the language of lizards, Ancalagon simply remarked on how this must, indeed be the start of the hunt, for on its wall is a gear. Very well! It is no matter. I simply must find the small gear, and then we shall be off! Surely this won’t take long. Now…where is the gear…

Ahhh, it is like I am in Paris once again. I believe now I understand this store. The temptation of the Libertine philosophy, the pleasures of the night, the sweet, sweet feelings of freedom…not that I, the noble Gentleman Adventurer that I am, ever partook in such base pleasures. The 2nd Earl of Rochester was simply an acquaintance of mine. Simply politics, that noble and ancient art… *cough*

Ancalagon: RAAAAAARRR!

Yes, perhaps it is best if we moved on. I have found the tribute left for me.

A new travelling companion! A most worthy tribute! He shall be called Verne.

I do say, this was certainly a good beginning for a hunt. Now let’s be off! Where to next…

…Well, that is most inconvenient.

It seems I must halt my hunt, my poor subjects. But do not fear! The adventure must continue! If I cannot traverse this land, I shall find others to do so! Now, I must be off to find loyal minions to venture forth into the unknown on my behalf. Farewell for now! And remember, it is a vassal’s duty to offer tribute to their lord. Come Ancalagon, Verne. Tribute will not collect itself!

*grin* I did wonder if I should have included a warning in my introduction. So why is the self-styled Marquis blocked? Because the automatic age verification system refuses to accept any of the information that Faust has provided. When online customer support was contacted, he was told that they could do nothing, he needed to snail-mail them his identification and they would manually approve him. But not to fear – they promised to destroy the identification papers when they were through. The Marquis has decided to forego this approach. Instead he calls upon his devoted family and friends to aid him in his quest. And they get to keep whatever prizes are found at the Adult sites! Whoo-hooo! I have been warned told that the Marquis intends to grace us with more of his travels, as his time permits.