loss – Ahuva’s Blog

Sleep Well, Beloved GC

Siri 1

GC passed over the rainbow bridge last night. We knew it was going to be any day now. We’ve been cherishing her, and trying to give her last treats and indulgences. This weekend we had been giving her cream, and a little bit of cheese, and any cat food she wanted, and greenies.

baby kittens all together — Baby kittens in their new home

She did not seem to be in any pain. She has been growing weaker and less steady for weeks, months. No matter how much we fed her she was growing thinner. She was a happy girl, though, and stuck to the regular schedule. She got her cuddles, her skritches. She came to check out visitors. She and WC were born in August 2002 and came to our home in October 2002. Someone had dumped them in a dumpster next to a pet grooming business. We brought them and their little rescue mate brother (from a litter dumped 2 weeks after theirs) home together. We had only planned on 2 kittens, but there was no way we would leave any of them behind. We were determined that being dumped in a dumpster would be the last indignity and cruelty they would ever suffer.

We brought them home to our 6-month old puppy who ADORED them. She promptly adopted them and took care of them. Her favorite thing was to lick their ears for them – we called that a Mu-do, a shortening of the dog’s name. While the others seemed to take getting a Mu-do in good humor, GC merely endured it. 🙂

gc Oct 2002 after what might have been her first Mu-do

From the time she was a little kitten, we were fairly certain that GC was going to be a couch potato. She loved to eat and sleep and sit around watching everyone else work. Everyone needs a manager, and GC figured she’d be perfect for the role. She had a special affection for our son – he was “her boy”. I used to tell her when “her boy” was coming home so she could have the fun of anticipation.

baby wc and gc oct 2002 — sisters learning the world can be good

She was so plump and cuddly. Do any of you remember Gund stuffed animals? They are/were the softest plushiest cuddliest stuffed animals. GC was what Gunds would be if they came alive. She was beautiful, so beautiful. She looked like she could have had Russian Blue blood in her, her coat was that color. Her paw pads – I always called them a dusty rose color. They weren’t pink – they were much more subtle and interesting than just pink.

GC and LB 2005 — GC and her little brother, who was quite a bit larger

Oh my G kitty – we will miss you so very very much. May you be where you can have all the treats you want and a warm comfy place to nap.

Didn't happen often but they DID get along — Sharing a seat didn’t happen often but they DID get along

GC and her little brother on the steps 2005 — WC is/was, oddly enough, much braver than her siblings. They’d sit on the stairs during parties while she would venture into the room once the crowd thinned out

sisters 2005 — Before we had the fireplace, warm radiators were the place to be

gc and wc snuggling 2005 — snuggling sisters

3 cats on a couch — proof that there were times when we were one big happy family, no sibling issues

OOTD 20150216

Sometimes people just stop liking you. You can’t change it, fix it or even know why. All you can do is let them go, don’t yield to the temptation to reach out. Learn to move on. There’s a lot more that can be said but it all comes down to the same thing: Accept and learn to move on.

Yahrtzeit

The Jewish calendar has many twists and turns. Our dear friend Lalo Telling passed away on the 1st of Tevet on the Hebrew calendar in the year 2012 of the Gregorian calendar. That means that his yahrtzeit (the anniversary of his death) occurs during Rosh Chodesh. Some Hebrew months always have TWO days for Rosh Chodesh. Some Hebrew months always have ONE day for Rosh Chodesh. Some months, well, it varies. You probably guessed that for Tevet it varies. This month Tevet has one day, apparently. I believe that means that starting at sundown on December 3, 2013 through sundown December 4, 2013 is the first day of Tevet and is Rosh Chodesh and is indeed Lalo’s yahrtzeit. If I’m wrong – I think Lalo will forgive me.

It’s been a year. I miss him still, very much. Passover came and went without him skyping in to our celebration. After only 2 years he was a regular and the other regulars all asked after him and missed his presence. The high holidays came and went in the fall and there was no Lalo to discuss d’vrei Torah and sermons and meaning and customs. Now it’s Chanukah. Last year I flew out to be with him. We lit the Chanukiah, we sang the prayers, we sang other songs and blessings. Despite the sad reason for my presence, we had a very very good time. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to be with him then.

Lalo and I didn’t know each other all that long in SL. We met in the late winter of 2011, inworld. We happened to be at the same musical event. I’d been following his blog and IM’d him to introduce myself. As it happens so often in SL, we clicked. We cared about many of the same things, laughed at the same things, enjoyed playing in SL. I still have not written up half the adventures that Lalo, Bamboo and I took together in SL. The one in the truck with Bamboo, when we were run off the road by a tank – that was a true SL/Lalo/Ahuva/Bamboo classic. Shortly after I met him he was blessed with a FL friend and companion, Emspar. He and I had less time to play inworld because his outworld was so full of joy with Emspar and with work. We still had Friday nights at Tribeca with the rest of the gang, and Fridays at The Listening Room with those wonderful folks, and dancing at Fogbound and with Noma and Taunter and Komuso. We visited SL amusements, learned to ride horses at Carriage Trade, did the big SL celebrations. When I look back, by the Gregorian calendar it wasn’t very long. But in SL terms it was. SL has never been quite the same for me since he died. I feel the loss so keenly there. A part of me still checks the friends list to see if he’s logged in yet.

I love to think of Lalo. I love to remember our conversations on Judaism, on engineering, music, books, life. He was intelligent, witty, funny, and so full of interesting information. I miss you, dear friend, more than I could have ever realized. Thank you for enriching my life. Your memory is a blessing to me.

Healthy

I had a friend who I loved. Being with him was like a dose of electricity. My adrenaline soared just seeing his name. He was so edgy. Smart, daring, perverse, dark, haunted, haunting, rude, crude. He challenged my assumptions, my beliefs. I learned things about myself I might never have learned without him. I drove myself harder than I’d have ever believed in order to consider myself worthy of his attention and conversation. Of course he wasn’t perfect. I knew that, that wasn’t the allure. It was the thrill of the challenges, the push to the edge, the dare, the uncertainty, the variability, the unpredictability. Sometimes it felt there was insufficient air to breathe.

Then they told him he was ill. He agreed and did what they said. I’ve talked to him since. He seems happy. He’s a nice man. Gray, flat, nice. The treatment worked. He’s heeled.