A few weeks ago I wrote about my appearance in SL and how so many people felt they had the right to walk up to me and make suggestions for improvements (“Makeover”, July 28). I thought I’d looked fine when I was “born” back on June 26 but I had to agree that once C got done with me, I looked much better. I’ve added a few more little tweaks here and there (like buying hair). I’m not a knock-out. I’m not going to turn heads when I walk into a room. I went skin shopping and picked up some demo’s I’m still contemplating. I have an idea for the next hair I’m going to buy. I’m sure I’ll do some changes but I’m not in a big rush to do so. I am comfortable with how I look. It suits how I feel when I’m in SL. (Or – do I act as I do because of how I look???? I’m not going there today.)
So I am still somewhat at a loss about a conversation that took place a few nights past. I was inworld tp’ing about, listening to live music. Several of my friends were online but most were in the middle of other activities and I was enjoying my own company. I was savoring the freedom of roaming a new world all by myself without fear, enjoying my growing confidence in navigating all the aspects of living a virtual life. I tp’d into a well-known jazz club. How do I know it’s well-known? LOL. Even I had heard of it! 🙂 It was a large room and most people were up close to the stage. I strolled over to a table on the outskirts of the room and settled in to listen to the music, sending occasional IM’s to other friends.
A new IM popped up in the window. It was from RemakeYourselfGal, Ryg. 
(No, of course that isn’t her name – the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)
Ryg: you get that pic?
AH: excuse me?
Ryg: I sent you a pic I took of you
AH: oh! no. are you sure you are talking to the right person?
The message box popped up and there indeed was a fairly nice pic of me. I was baffled. Why was a total stranger taking pictures of me? Ryg and I exchanged pleasantries. She told me she was trying to guess my age by my avatar’s appearance. It turned out that she specialized in makeovers: nightclubs, landscaping and people. I began to have an inkling of where this conversation might be heading. I thought Ryg was trying to recruit me as a client. I figured that she simply approached many strangers and began her sales pitch this way. But she told me she didn’t charge for make-overs, she wanted to help others so that they didn’t struggle as she had. I was still fairly relaxed and happy, so, laughing to myself, I asked her if I should be worried that a make-over artist approached me.
AH: I am curious as to why you initiated the conversation
Ryg: well I mentor an I have seen a hundred girls that look like you
AH: does this mean you think i am desparately in need of make-over?
Ryg: mmm the short answer is no, but I feel you could look a lot closer to what you want to project here
Deep Breath. At this point part of me is ready to lash out at her and ask her how she, a total stranger, dares to presume to tell me what I want to project. The other part of me is fascinated by the whole conversation and wants to see how far she’s going to take it. Obviously the latter won or there would be no blog. 🙂 I was going to put all of our dialogue in here but that is overkill and boring. So what follows are a few choice excerpts. (Which may still be boring! 🙂 ) We talked about many things, but it always drifted back to her presumption that I needed to be “fixed”. Let me say, however, that I believe Ryg was trying to be nice. She thought she was being kind, offering to help a newbie figure things out. One inworld friend thought the conversation constituted a form of abuse and I should have reported Ryg. I think that’s extreme. I don’t believe she was trying to insult me or hurt me. But….. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
AH: I am curious as to why you initiated the conversation
Ryg: well I mentor an I have seen a hundred girls that look like you
.
AH: so you like my boots. what is it about my appearance that you think needs fixing?
Ryg: you need to differentiate yourself from the 5 million other sally sue’s out there . . eyes first then hair, maybe a nice skin
Ryg: NICE skin
Ryg: I like just enough makeup to accent my lips and eyes . .maybe a touch of rouge on the cheeks
.
Ryg: you need a facelight too, this place is notoriously dim, all of sl
Ryg: other people need to see your pretty face
Ryg: see you are over in the corner in the dark, no one witout radar will know you are there
AH: But Ryg, what if that’s okay?
Ryg: thats fine
Ryg: you don impress me as someone who wants to avoid people
AH: so what do you think of this face light? better?
Ryg: lol is it on?
.
AH: that leads me back to my original question, why me? how did you “see” me walk in
Ryg: you are the only woman outside help island I have seen that looks like you
AH: LOL. i guess that’s a bad thing
Ryg: well not a bad thing, you are not unique
Ryg: an I think you want to be
At this point I confess that she was really starting to depress me. Good thing she liked my new black boots or I think I’d have run out of the club and jumped off the nearest bridge. Good thing I had friends on the IM telling me to ignore her and to gasp at her comments. I was giving serious thought to slinking out of there and finding a paper bag to put on my poor, hundred-other-girl face. Ryg told me how she made-over her current girlfriend. Ryg gave her Ryg’s own body shape. They had different skins, eyes, hair, etc., but they had the same shape. I replied that I thought there was no problem with sharing a shape but that otherwise being the same could be problematic. I realize now from reading our chat that Ryg thought I was talking about my own body staying the same shape. Even so.
Ryg: She is the only person I gave my shape to, she has diff skin an hair, or she would look like me
AH: i can see where that wouldnt work. but same shape should be fine
Ryg: well . . thinner waist? biggger boobs? some butt? who knows . . but lord you can try
“but lord you can try”
That was the point at which I decided I’d had enough. I excused myself and tp’d to the NCI boardwalk.
Let me give you the last little supreme irony, a line from Ryg’s own profile: Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
So, dear reader, there you have it. What would you have said or done?
I’m talking about avatar appearance. After my discussion with Ryg (see “What would YOU do?”), I tp’d back to NCI to my friends who thought I looked just fine. LOL. But I decided that perhaps their opinions were a bit skewed. That evening, more of us were non-human than human. Everyone was rotating through their various forms and appearances. It really was quite a show! U and I were the only ones without a non-human av. I do have at least 2 other avatar shapes I picked up for free, but I’ve never used them. Oh, not quite true. I took the eyes from one. 🙂 Used the hair from another to go shopping one day. But you get the point. So when L offered me a new shape I figured now was the time! So I took myself to the dressing room and transformed myself into a Mini Black House Cat. 🙂 
Note the carrot that L supplied as well. Certainly the orange set off my black fur and blue eyes quite nicely. But when all is said and done, eh. I still have no desire to be an animal. Perhaps I am simply boring or uncreative. Wearing wings on occasion is amusing. I’m still thinking about getting ears and a tail. But being a cat really didn’t do much for me. Maybe this is like true love – I’ll “know” when the right shape comes along. In the meantime I will simply admire and enjoy everyone else’s creative shapes. Such as this 3-headed dog that leaves fire-y footprints. You really do meet the most interesting people at NCI. 
if you’ve never done it. 🙂 So here you go. The first photo shows the display (the ad) for the hair style and the various colors. If you click on the gray Demo box, you buy a demo for L$1. You can try it on to see how you like it. Notice that there is a big box floating above your head. 🙂 So you can’t wear the demo unless you also want to wear the box. If you decide you want the hair style, you click on the color you want. At that point you are charged 
the full amount (assuming you click pay). And that’s it – the hair is in your inventory and when you want to have your hair look like that, you wear it. And when you want a different look, you wear different hair. Or skin. Or shape. It’s really that simple. So what do you think? I rather like this ‘do. Now which color……
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